Thursday, April 2, 2009

Fake Movies I Wish Were Real...

Yay! Our first real post on the new blog! I threw a temporary logo up there so the blog doesn't look horribly unfortunate anymore. For all of you Facebook followers, I'll be double posting for a little while, so you guys won't miss out. And without further ado, the list...

Throughout entertainment history there have been many instances of fictional films that are so beautifully crafted, you'll wish they were real. Be it a fake trailer or just the mere mention of a fake title, some fake films should, nay, DESERVE to be made. This list is dedicated to the films that could and should be...

Simple Jack
In Tropic Thunder, Simple Jack is Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller)'s ill fated attempt at Oscar greatness. The story follows a mentally impaired farm boy who can talk to animals, although this section of the film caused a major stir when Tropic Thunder was released, I would totally go see this film out of sheer morbid curiosity. With lines like...

"I'll see you tonight in my head movies, but this head movie will make my eyes rain..."

It's hard to imagine that this film wouldn't have been entertaining at the very least, and unfortunately hilarious at the very best.

Who Dat Ninja
If it's from 30 Rock, you know it's bound to be hilarious. There's no actual footage available from this fake film, in fact the only mention of it is the movie poster that hangs on the wall in Tracey Jordan's dressing room on the show. That poster alone is enough to make me laugh out loud at the mere thought of what this movie could possibly be about.

The first addition to this list from Grindhouse, Machete is considered to be the best fake trailer of the bunch. I actually had to watch this trailer in film class and critique it as if it was a real film. Warning, the trailer's pretty graphic, probably NSFW.

Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp
Really these films are just two of the many films that can be attributed to the man, the myth, the legend, that is Troy McClure. By far one of the best examples of one-liner perfection, Troy McClure was a favorite of Simpsons fans for many years you may recognize him from...

Untitled Fake Film on The Office
Jack Black, Jessica Alba, and Cloris Leachman star in this fake chick flick watched by the employees of Dunder Mifflin over their lunch hour. The film is never given a title, and despite the number of scenes shown in the episode, it's nearly impossible to determine a plot, but it's all worth it just to see Cloris Leachman "run away" from Jack Black using a stairway chair lift. Unfortunately all I could find was the promo, you can watch the full episode on Hulu, it's totally worth it.

Werewolf Women of the SS
Trantino and Rodriguez's Grindhous was rife with fictional goodies, and all 4 fake trailers are excellent in their own way. One of my favorites however, and also one of the most underrated is Werewolf Women of the SS. This fake film belongs on this list based on the premise alone. It has all the makings of a hilarious D movie, werewolves, Hitler, Nicholas Cage, you can't lose! A word of caution about the trailer, it's a little graphic, what else would you expect from Rob Zombie?

Satan's Alley
I had to end with this one, hands down one of my favorite fake trailers of all time. Robert Downey Jr. AND Tobey Maguire, I don't really see how it could get much better. I mean, after all, it did win the Bejing Film Festival's Coveted Crying Monkey Award and there's even a fake site for the film.

I know I've probably missed some, so if you think of any more, post them in the comment section. Or better yet, if you can think of a fake title for a film you believe should be made, post that too!

May the Force Be With You!
RamPaige :)


  1. I would DEFINITELY watch Machete. Another film from 30 Rock that I might consider watching for shits and giggles is The Rural Juror. Is that strange?

  2. i like your logo!

    lol the christmas ape movies are my favorite on this list. i love troy mcclure.

  3. Right after I posted this I found a list of all the fake movies on 30 Rock, and I was really sad that I had failed to include, "Honky Grandma Be Trippin" it's a classic for sure.