Saturday, October 31, 2009

Dismember the Alamo Part Deux!

Okay, I'll keep this brief, mainly because I'm typing it out on my iPhone (see Heather, I AM important enough to need email and Twitter everywhere I go). I am currently sitting at Southwest Gate 9 at LAX about to get on a plane to Texas to go see the my movie on the big screen for the first time. I feel so fancy its insane.

Anyway, those of you who have been clamoring to see said movie will not have to wait much longer, the film will be posted after the event tonight along with a list of the Top 10 costumes from te event. My original costume idea didn't work out so I'll have to rock the machine gun leg next year... I never miss. As for this year's costume I'm torn between being Harley Quinn or Zombie DJ AM... If anyone feels strongly one way or the other feel free to leave it in the comment section.

Again, a big thank you to everyone who's been so supportive... And willing to cover themselves in Karo Syrup in the name of Art. And a big apology to Kellen whose name is wrong in the credits. If you guys are nice I might post the first 10 pages of my new script.

Til tonight, live long and prosper,

Monday, October 26, 2009

Dismember the Alamo!

Hey Everybody!

Okay so it is officially 11:37am. Now those of you who know me well are probably thinking, "Paige, what in God's name are you doing up before the crack of noon?" Good question. Well, as it just so happens I was awoken this morning by a phone call from Texas (they're 2 hours ahead, so it was almost noon there) telling me that they will be screening my short film "Darla of the Dead" at their Dismember the Alamo: Zombie Short Film Festival on Halloween night.

Needless to say, I danced around the room in my jammies for quite some time.

Then I realized, there's a list that I haven't done... yeah, I couldn't believe it either. In honor of my upcoming festival debut, here are my top 5 favorite Zombie Movies.

Shaun of the Dead

I know that I go on and on about this movie ad nauseum but seriously it is one of my faves. Not only is it amazingly hilarious and acted beautifully by the illustrious Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, but it's also legitimately scary at points. It's incredibly difficult to be funny and scary at the same time, but Shaun of the Dead does it with the finesse of that guy from Vh1's the pick up artist, and for that it earns my top spot.

Planet Terror

aka: The awesome half of Grindhouse

Oh no she di-int. Yeah, I totally did. I will be the first to admit to my die hard Tarantino fandom, but even I cannot deny that Planet Terror was totally my favorite of the two. This movie has everything. Zombies, Machine Gun Legs, and Fergie... being eated by a Zombie. Moreover, I am totally dressing up like Cherry Darling for the festival.

Dead Alive

Before Peter Jackson was known for respectable Oscar Winning films like Lord of the Rings... he made Dead Alive... for about $11 total. This movie is disgustingly hilarious, between Zombie babies, Kung Fu inclined Ministers, and haunted household appliances, it's no wonder that the film culminates with the main character strapping a lawnmower to his chest and walking through a Zombie hoarde.

Evil Dead II


It would be impossible to make a list of Zombie Films without mentioning the one, the only, the master, Bruce Campbell. Much like Dead Alive, the Evil Dead films were directed by Sam Raimi, now famous for films like Spiderman... but once famous for attaching a chainsaw to a character's hand for easy Zombie dismemberment. I think the most hilarious thing about Evil Dead II is that essentially it's a remake of Evil Dead I... they just had more money this time... and they gave Bruce Campbell a chainsaw for a hand. See Also, Army of Darkness, the final and arguably least frightening film in the Evil Dead franchise, sure fire laughs and chainsaw hands abound.

The Matrix

Let's face it, Keanu's practically a Zombie anyway, we should just make it official, and Carrie Anne Moss should totally have a machine gun for a leg.

I'm on the Fence About...

Plan 9 From Outer Space

Where would midnight movie screenings be today without Ed Wood?

See that guy in the back covering his face? Yeah, that's because Bella Lugosi died after only filming a few scenes of the film, and rather than scrap the project or re-film Lugosi's scenes, Wood decided it was just better to hire a new guy and have him cover his face the whole time... Good Plan Ed.


Don't get me wrong, it was great. I just find it hard to resist the temptation of comparing it to my #1.

Night of the Living/Dawn of the Dead

Without George A. Romero's commentary on Human Society, we wouldn't have the modern zombie film... I just couldn't decide which one to put on the list, so here's both.

Well, that's all for now. I'm off to go celebrate.

Removing the Head and Destroying the Brain,

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Working, Shopping, and TV, Oh my!

Buckle up, this might get kind of long...

My screenwriting prof kinda ripped me a new one today, and I would be mad about it... if he wasn't totally right. No comment stings more than, "I know you are capable of writing a better story than this." Glad to know you thought so highly of me... up until you read this assignment.

But I digress, tonight as I was putting off re-writing my outlines and treatments, I started reading Mindy Kaling's blog "Things I Bought That I Love" at href="">. Mindy is awesome, and I totally look up to her for being one of only 2 women on The Office writing staff, but seriously, she hasn't updated her blog since last April.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone... I haven't uploaded anything since my Dynamite Jones video. What better way to put off writing something then to write something else, right?

Anyway, in totally unrelated news, another one of our managers "left the company," which is a fancy way of saying someone got fired. For those of you playing along at home, that's 3 managers in 4 months. Yeah, wow, I have no personal opinions on whether or not they should have been fired... but I do have opinions about these people... That's right, today's list is TV Characters Who Should Be Fired. I've actually had this list for a while, and never put it up, but, here goes...

The Simpsons: Homer Simpson

Homer Jay Simpson: Safety Inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, sector 7G.

On The Simpsons, Homer is shown multiple times AT work... but never really DOING any work. Mostly just eating donuts and causing the occasional meltdown. Riddle me this Batman, if you lived in the shadow of a giant Nuclear plant, as all the residents of Springfield do; would you really want a man who at one time prayed to a waffle, manning the controls? Yeah, me neither.

Futurama: Dr. Zoidberg

I'm not sure exactly what kind of Doctor Zoidberg is, but he's definitely not the kind who should be treating humans. More importantly, why is there a doctor working at what is essentially Intergalactic UPS?

The Office: Kelly Kapoor

Let's see, Jim, Dwight, Stanley, Phyllis, Andy, and now Pam are all Salespeople. Angela, Oscar, and Kevin work in accounting. Toby's the HR Rep, Ryan's a temp, and Kelly is... Kelly is... uhhh...

Yeah, I actually had to do some research on this one and I learned that Kelly is actually Dunder Mifflin's Customer Service Representative, as evidenced by this video.

BJ, we feel your pain. Bonus points to anyone who can figure out what Creed and Meredith do... because I'm still stymied.

Friends: Phoebe

It truly pains me to put this one on the list, because I love Friends and Phoebe is one of my all time faves. But seriously, I can't really think of a more unreliable masseuse. Granted her idea for a Relaxi Taxi is groundbreaking, but she should really stick to what she's best at... music.

The Simpsons: Dr. Nick

Inflammable means flammable? What a country!

That 70's Show: Leo

Leo used to operate the local photo booth... then he kinda worked at the record store... sort of.

Heroes: Matt Parkman

I could wallpaper my condo with the paperwork generated by Matt Parkman's constant abuse of witnesses, not to mention multiple unexplained absences to go do things like, whiping Nathan Petrelli's memory or being kidnapped for use in Mutant Experimentation. How is he still a detective?

Glee: Sue Sylvester

Exhibit A: The scariest cheer coach in the history of forever. I bet she eats cocaine for breakfast.

Some people I'm on the fence about...

The Office: Michael Scott

Yes, yes, I know that Michael is pretty much the cause for every problem the steadfast employees at Dunder Mifflin Scranton face... but he does have flashes of brilliance, and almost everything he does is done with good intentions... sort of.

Well, that's all for now, I know I've left people off the list. I'm sure I could make dozens of lists on this same topic, but for now... I should actually start working on my script. Ta ta for now. I'll be back soon with another post.

Dinkin' Flicka,