Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Working, Shopping, and TV, Oh my!

Buckle up, this might get kind of long...

My screenwriting prof kinda ripped me a new one today, and I would be mad about it... if he wasn't totally right. No comment stings more than, "I know you are capable of writing a better story than this." Glad to know you thought so highly of me... up until you read this assignment.

But I digress, tonight as I was putting off re-writing my outlines and treatments, I started reading Mindy Kaling's blog "Things I Bought That I Love" at href="">. Mindy is awesome, and I totally look up to her for being one of only 2 women on The Office writing staff, but seriously, she hasn't updated her blog since last April.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone... I haven't uploaded anything since my Dynamite Jones video. What better way to put off writing something then to write something else, right?

Anyway, in totally unrelated news, another one of our managers "left the company," which is a fancy way of saying someone got fired. For those of you playing along at home, that's 3 managers in 4 months. Yeah, wow, I have no personal opinions on whether or not they should have been fired... but I do have opinions about these people... That's right, today's list is TV Characters Who Should Be Fired. I've actually had this list for a while, and never put it up, but, here goes...

The Simpsons: Homer Simpson

Homer Jay Simpson: Safety Inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, sector 7G.

On The Simpsons, Homer is shown multiple times AT work... but never really DOING any work. Mostly just eating donuts and causing the occasional meltdown. Riddle me this Batman, if you lived in the shadow of a giant Nuclear plant, as all the residents of Springfield do; would you really want a man who at one time prayed to a waffle, manning the controls? Yeah, me neither.

Futurama: Dr. Zoidberg

I'm not sure exactly what kind of Doctor Zoidberg is, but he's definitely not the kind who should be treating humans. More importantly, why is there a doctor working at what is essentially Intergalactic UPS?

The Office: Kelly Kapoor

Let's see, Jim, Dwight, Stanley, Phyllis, Andy, and now Pam are all Salespeople. Angela, Oscar, and Kevin work in accounting. Toby's the HR Rep, Ryan's a temp, and Kelly is... Kelly is... uhhh...

Yeah, I actually had to do some research on this one and I learned that Kelly is actually Dunder Mifflin's Customer Service Representative, as evidenced by this video.

BJ, we feel your pain. Bonus points to anyone who can figure out what Creed and Meredith do... because I'm still stymied.

Friends: Phoebe

It truly pains me to put this one on the list, because I love Friends and Phoebe is one of my all time faves. But seriously, I can't really think of a more unreliable masseuse. Granted her idea for a Relaxi Taxi is groundbreaking, but she should really stick to what she's best at... music.

The Simpsons: Dr. Nick

Inflammable means flammable? What a country!

That 70's Show: Leo

Leo used to operate the local photo booth... then he kinda worked at the record store... sort of.

Heroes: Matt Parkman

I could wallpaper my condo with the paperwork generated by Matt Parkman's constant abuse of witnesses, not to mention multiple unexplained absences to go do things like, whiping Nathan Petrelli's memory or being kidnapped for use in Mutant Experimentation. How is he still a detective?

Glee: Sue Sylvester

Exhibit A: The scariest cheer coach in the history of forever. I bet she eats cocaine for breakfast.

Some people I'm on the fence about...

The Office: Michael Scott

Yes, yes, I know that Michael is pretty much the cause for every problem the steadfast employees at Dunder Mifflin Scranton face... but he does have flashes of brilliance, and almost everything he does is done with good intentions... sort of.

Well, that's all for now, I know I've left people off the list. I'm sure I could make dozens of lists on this same topic, but for now... I should actually start working on my script. Ta ta for now. I'll be back soon with another post.

Dinkin' Flicka,

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