Friday, May 29, 2009

TV Show Standings so Far

Okay, so here's what the scoreboard looks like so far... if your show isn't winning... time to gather some friends and vote.

Battlestar Gallactica: 3

Lost: 3

Chuck: 2

Greek: 2

Lie To Me: 1

The Tudors: 1

Supernatural: 1

Grey's Anatomy: 1

Okay, so Battlestar and Lost are tied for first, both have some good support behind them, and I could go either way. However, for the Lost voters out there, if you thought my incessant Heroes updates were annoying... imagine the terror you would let loose on the world by making me watch Lost. Also, Ricky... Just because Matthew Fox is a FIJI doesn't make him cuter than Zachary Quinto, just puttin' it out there. Whichever show takes it, someone's gotta lend me some DVDs so I can catch up.


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Too Much TV To Handle!

I don't know what the deal is, but in the past week everyone and their mother has been trying to get me into one TV show or another. While I love TV, really I do, I am only one person, and we only have one DVR. So, I decided to list out what I already watch, what people have suggested I watch, and what desperately want to watch... but don't, and get your feedback on what the absolute essentials are, served with a side of snarkiness as always.

Let's start with what I already watch shall we...

The Office
I've been watching this show since my senior year of High School, I'm not planning on stopping any time soon, especially after the CRAZY season finale! OMG! Jim and Pam!

30 Rock
Any show that could write an entire fake song about a Werewolf Barmitzvah deserves some MAJOR props. If I could be half as funny as Tina Fey at one point in my lifetime, I would die happy. She's an amazing writer, and not an episode goes by that doesn't have me laughing out loud at least once.
Boys becoming Men, Men becoming WOLVES!

Hugh Laurie... amazing. Jesse Spencer... dreamy. Dying patient... probably Lupus.

Anything but Lupus!

I didn't have many expectations of this show besides thinking that Ben Mackenzie is drool worthy, but it turned out to be surprisingly good, I'm glad it got picked up.

Yeah, Merrissa and I are a mere 10 episodes away from being completely caught up. We actually made a chart just to keep track of who's related; who's dead; who had kids in alternate realities then blew up Southern California when the kid died; who's a gorgeous geneticist who experimented on himself to get powers; who got jiggy with Kristen Bell then subsequently killed her later in the same episode... you know, the basics.

Rock of Whatever Sad "Has Been" is Single and Ready to Mingle...
I think the title says it all.

I didn't expect to like the pilot nearly as much as I did... so I had to add it to the list. Not to mention their rendition of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin" is so frickin' amazing i immediately had to buy it on iTunes.

Okay, now onto what everyone else wants me to watch...

I heard it's good... but it's cutting into my Heroes time so it can have the second half of the fall season. Paige Mad, Paige SMASH!

Battlestar Gallactica
I've been resisting the temptation to get into this one because I know I'd probably love it. I watched insane amounts of Next Generation through my formative years and even watched the entire Enterprise series. I don't need to get hooked on something that has 7+ seasons I have to get through.

Grey's Anatomy
Sorry, I'm a total House devotee, that's just the way it is...

This would be like Heroes all over again... but weirder... and without Zachary Quinto...

I'd get stuck on an island with that any day of the week...

How I Met Your Mother
I've watched this one once or twice and I totally like it... but, I didn't keep up with it enough to know what's going on. So despite my love for Neal Patrick Harris... this show remains untouched by my DVR.


Finally Shows I TOTALLY WANT TO WATCH and for some reason... can't...

The Tudors
I have a weird fascination with this period in English History, and also with the King's best friend who was also in Tristan and Isolde...

History is sexy...

True Blood
This show isn't just right up my alley... it's so me that it's literally sitting IN the alley, next to the creepy homeless dude yelling at a bag of old, french fries about aliens. WHY DON'T I GET PREMIUM CHANNELS! WHY!!!!!

So, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to tell me what out of the extra shows I'm missing. Whoever makes the most convincing case, will get their show watched, and I'll post commentary about it after each episode. Post AWAY!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Save the Cheerleader...

Okay, so after last week, wherein Merrissa and I managed to possibly spend more time in theaters seeing Star Trek than we did eating or sleeping, we made the mistake of watching an episode or two of Heroes. What we were of course unaware of is that Heroes episodes are kind of like Albino Cheese-its. You can't eat just one, once you have that one handful it's a slippery slope down to the bottom of the box where you're dumping the little leftover crumbs of webisodes and interviews into your entertainment starved mouth... But I digress.

Suffice it to say that despite the fact that it's finals week, and Merrissa and I both being responsible adults with steady jobs.... We've managed to finish all 24 episodes of Season 1... in 2 days.

Being 1 season in, I feel that I'm equipped to make some witty observations... So! The Wins... and Fails... of Heroes. Let's get the good news out of the way first shall we...


1. Merrissa and I skipped Daisy of Love to finish watching Season 1, so obviously they're doing something right.

2. Hiro = Amazing. Although he kind of looks like he's about to shart every time he messes with the space time continuum.

3. It's kind of like live action X-Men... but with new stories. Which is cool beans.

4. Sylar Alex Mack's a toaster... it's the shit.

5. I can't think of a time when Samurai Swords aren't pretty much the coolest thing around.


1.Half the time, I find myself rooting for Spock... I mean Sylar.

2. Ali Larter's getting annoying, and it's only Season 1. She needs to have that wacked-out brain of hers stolen... and soon. Go Sylar!

3. Fascinating though her story is... Hayden Panettiere seems like she'd be a mondo bitch in real life. Not that there's anything wrong with that. All I'm saying is that Bitches can't hang with the streets, a fact proven time and time again by the venerable Dr. Dre.

4. Milo Ventewhat'shisbucket tends to "Stallone Out" if you know what I mean. It's kind of like Hulking Out, only slightly scarier and considerably more Rambo-ish. You know in Rocky when Stallone has that like sideways mouth scream... yeah.

5. The painter dude... although freakishly cool. Somehow manages to paint water colors using Oil Paint, explain that one.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Bad News Bears

Okay, so the dating site is threatening to delete our profile unless we post a real picture. They said our previous picture was unacceptable...

Looks perfectly acceptable to me. However, we need to provide them with a "real looking" picture in the next few days or they're going to delete our profile forever. No more crazy pictures of guys dressed as Princess Leia in her slave girl outfit. That makes me a Sad Panda. Naturally we don't want to post actual pictures of ourselves on the site... lest we get stalked by a creeper.

So what we need is for you guys to find a picture that looks somewhat legit, like it could be a real girl on a dating site. If anyone wants to volunteer a picture of themselves... you get ultimate brownie points.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Paige and Merrissa's Epic Experiment

When Merrissa and I get bored... awesomely bad things happen. After turning in my last screenplay submission, we decided to create a fake online identity and join an online dating site.... This is what we found within the first 30 minutes.

Yeah, we also found this little gem...

Note the oh-so-subtle Colonel Sanders tat. I don't know about you, but I think I've found love.