Sorry I haven't been posting too frequently. I've got some upcoming writing deadlines, so I've been pretty busy revising the screenplay and whatnot. I'll have a little more free time in the coming weeks so hopefully I'll be able to put up some fun stuff.
-Ram-Paige
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
The Ten Commandments of Society or How Not to Fail at Life
Being a college student and working in retail you meet some interesting folk. Of course by interesting, I mean freaks of nature. These people apparently don't realize some of the unwritten rules that govern everyday life, so I thought I'd throw them a bone, and make a few suggestions...
1. Thou shalt not shout "One Love" at random intervals. You are not Bob Marley, therefore it is not okay.
2. Thou shalt not complain that your coffee is too cold, right after said coffee has burned the barista making it. If it was hot enough to burn someone, it's certainly hot enough for drinking.
3. Thou shalt not insult The Graduate during a film class. Seriously, you're not Speilberg, you're a no-name college student, it's not okay.
4. Thou shalt not romantically gush over someone half your age... it's frickin' creepy and it needs to stop. I'm talking to you middle aged Jo-Bro fans.
5. Thou shalt not refer to every African American person as Morgan Freeman. "Hey, so I saw Madea Goes to Jail, Morgan Freeman was awesome! He should win an oscar." Not okay, unless used in jest.
6. Thou shalt not wear booty shorts and Ugg boots at the same time. Slutty eskimo isn't a good look for anyone.
7. Thou shalt not initiate dating/mating rituals with members of the opposite sex by saying, "You like _______? I like _______! Let's go back to my place!" For example, "You like Journey? I like Journey! Don't stop believin' girl, let's go do the horizontal hula..." Not... okay... ever... FAIL!
8. Thou shalt not compete for the affection of Flava Flav. A man who wears a giant clock, should be well aware that his 15 minutes of fame were up a long time ago.
9. Thou shalt not use Klingon or Elvish in everyday vernacular. This is not Starfleet Academy, and I don't live in Rivendell. I'm a massive nerd too, but stick to the languages of your own species please.
10. Thou shalt not complain about Britney Spears being a bad role model, if you bought her CD for your child. Unless you're Helen Keller, you know that Britney caught the last train to crazy town years ago. So you should know that her music isn't meant for your kids. If you aren't paying attention to what your kids are listening to, that's your problem, not Britney's.
Any infraction of these rules is henceforth punishable with an Awful Waffle.
Sincerely,
Paige Wesley
1. Thou shalt not shout "One Love" at random intervals. You are not Bob Marley, therefore it is not okay.
2. Thou shalt not complain that your coffee is too cold, right after said coffee has burned the barista making it. If it was hot enough to burn someone, it's certainly hot enough for drinking.
3. Thou shalt not insult The Graduate during a film class. Seriously, you're not Speilberg, you're a no-name college student, it's not okay.
4. Thou shalt not romantically gush over someone half your age... it's frickin' creepy and it needs to stop. I'm talking to you middle aged Jo-Bro fans.
5. Thou shalt not refer to every African American person as Morgan Freeman. "Hey, so I saw Madea Goes to Jail, Morgan Freeman was awesome! He should win an oscar." Not okay, unless used in jest.
6. Thou shalt not wear booty shorts and Ugg boots at the same time. Slutty eskimo isn't a good look for anyone.
7. Thou shalt not initiate dating/mating rituals with members of the opposite sex by saying, "You like _______? I like _______! Let's go back to my place!" For example, "You like Journey? I like Journey! Don't stop believin' girl, let's go do the horizontal hula..." Not... okay... ever... FAIL!
8. Thou shalt not compete for the affection of Flava Flav. A man who wears a giant clock, should be well aware that his 15 minutes of fame were up a long time ago.
9. Thou shalt not use Klingon or Elvish in everyday vernacular. This is not Starfleet Academy, and I don't live in Rivendell. I'm a massive nerd too, but stick to the languages of your own species please.
10. Thou shalt not complain about Britney Spears being a bad role model, if you bought her CD for your child. Unless you're Helen Keller, you know that Britney caught the last train to crazy town years ago. So you should know that her music isn't meant for your kids. If you aren't paying attention to what your kids are listening to, that's your problem, not Britney's.
Any infraction of these rules is henceforth punishable with an Awful Waffle.
Sincerely,
Paige Wesley
Saturday, April 18, 2009
We have a WINNER!!!
Looks like I'll be writing my paper on Hot Fuzz! Thanks everybody, great choice! One of my fave directors and def one of my fave movies:) Thanks for voting!
Friday, April 17, 2009
I Need Your Help!
Okay here's the deal. I have a short film paper due next week, the assignment is for me to analyze and critique my favorite film comedy. Comedy being one of my favorite genres, I naturally find it nearly impossible to choose just one. So! I've scoured my DVD collection in search of some of my favorite comedies from each comedy sub-genre and I'm going to let you choose, whichever movie gets the most votes, will be the subject of my paper. Try to go for the unlikely ones, I don't want to write the same paper as half the class. Lists to follow!
I originally had clips for all the movie suggestions I listed, but then this list got really frickin' long, so I'm going to post the bracket and if anyone wants clips for a certain movie, just write it in the comments and I'll throw it up there.
Rom-Coms
The Wedding Singer
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
The Princess Bride
50 First Dates
Head Over Heels
Teen Comedy
Sixteen Candles
Mean Girls
Better Off Dead
Whatever it Takes
Horror Comedy
Shaun of the Dead
Cabin Fever
Planet Terror
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Young Frankenstein
Action Comedy
Hot Fuzz
Tropic Thunder
Gross Out/Misc. Comedy
Anchorman
Dodgeball
School of Rock
Fanboys
I could lists dozens more films that would all fit the assignment, and I left out some extremely obvious ones... mainly because they're extremely obvious. So if you feel like there's a movie I missed that I absolutely MUST consider feel free to write it in the comment section. All suggestions are welcome :)
Made out with a hot dog? That was one time!
Ram-Paige
I originally had clips for all the movie suggestions I listed, but then this list got really frickin' long, so I'm going to post the bracket and if anyone wants clips for a certain movie, just write it in the comments and I'll throw it up there.
Rom-Coms
The Wedding Singer
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
The Princess Bride
50 First Dates
Head Over Heels
Teen Comedy
Sixteen Candles
Mean Girls
Better Off Dead
Whatever it Takes
Horror Comedy
Shaun of the Dead
Cabin Fever
Planet Terror
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Young Frankenstein
Action Comedy
Hot Fuzz
Tropic Thunder
Gross Out/Misc. Comedy
Anchorman
Dodgeball
School of Rock
Fanboys
I could lists dozens more films that would all fit the assignment, and I left out some extremely obvious ones... mainly because they're extremely obvious. So if you feel like there's a movie I missed that I absolutely MUST consider feel free to write it in the comment section. All suggestions are welcome :)
Made out with a hot dog? That was one time!
Ram-Paige
Monday, April 6, 2009
Bad Roommate Stories
Alrighty readers! Ever had to pick a roommate up from the police station at 3am? Found your bunk mate bumping uglies with a loud drunk guy while you're trying to sleep? You name it, I want to hear about it! Give me your worst, your funniest, most disgusting roommate stories you can muster. Even if its a random story you heard about someone else, I WANT TO KNOW! Post them in the comments or email me if they're super long. I'll post the really, really good ones and you guys can vote on a winner :)
You go Glen CoCo!
Ram-Paige
You go Glen CoCo!
Ram-Paige
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Fake Bands I Wish Were Real!
So while writing yesterday's post I was going through all the fake videos I had in my favorites on YouTube when I realized that there are just as many awesomely hilarious fake bands as there are fake films. So here goes...
DuJour
By far one of my favorite film soundtracks is Josie and the Pussycats, crappy movie aside, the songs are awesome. Most notably, "DuJour Around the World" and "Back Door Lover" by the films fictional boy band DuJour. Come on, any boy band involving Seth Green and Donald Faison, it's gotta be good.
The Wonders
It's a well known fact that "That Thing You Do!" is one of the best movies ever. I have yet to meet someone who hates this movie, it's basically impossible not to love it in large part due to the awesomeness of fake band, The Wonders...
2Gether
During Boyband Mania of the late 90's Mtv jumped on the bandwagon by creating a TV show revolving around the adventures of a fake boy band. Imagine their surprise when the show's fake band actually scored a few hits on the billboard charts. Check out the video for a pre-"While You Were Out" Evan Farmer...
The Archies
A band based on comic book characters, wtf! But honestly if you've never heard this song, then you were probably born in a barn, or you might be a robot. Check yourself just to be sure...
Scrantonicity
They play the Police.... only the Police...
Spinal Tap
A fake band list would never be complete without the inclusion of Spinal Tap. A mocumentary love letter to hair metal, Spinal Tap is the pinnacle of fake band awesomeness. Plus, they have STONEHENGE!!!
Simply Wed
The band from the Wedding Singer! If you haven't seen this movie, you truly haven't lived...
The Great Frog Society
I searched for hours trying to find a video for this band. Essentially its a Saturday Night Live parody of Behind the Music, featuring a band composed of dead rock stars and historical figures. Jim Morrison, Buddy Holly, Amelia Earheart... If you find a video, lemme know :)
Kevin G and the Power of 3
Math Enthusiasts and Bad Ass MCs, just one more reason Mean Girls is awesome, and this clip ALWAYS makes me laugh...
If you think of any I missed post them in the comment section!
You Go Glen CoCo!
RamPaige
DuJour
By far one of my favorite film soundtracks is Josie and the Pussycats, crappy movie aside, the songs are awesome. Most notably, "DuJour Around the World" and "Back Door Lover" by the films fictional boy band DuJour. Come on, any boy band involving Seth Green and Donald Faison, it's gotta be good.
The Wonders
It's a well known fact that "That Thing You Do!" is one of the best movies ever. I have yet to meet someone who hates this movie, it's basically impossible not to love it in large part due to the awesomeness of fake band, The Wonders...
2Gether
During Boyband Mania of the late 90's Mtv jumped on the bandwagon by creating a TV show revolving around the adventures of a fake boy band. Imagine their surprise when the show's fake band actually scored a few hits on the billboard charts. Check out the video for a pre-"While You Were Out" Evan Farmer...
The Archies
A band based on comic book characters, wtf! But honestly if you've never heard this song, then you were probably born in a barn, or you might be a robot. Check yourself just to be sure...
Scrantonicity
They play the Police.... only the Police...
Spinal Tap
A fake band list would never be complete without the inclusion of Spinal Tap. A mocumentary love letter to hair metal, Spinal Tap is the pinnacle of fake band awesomeness. Plus, they have STONEHENGE!!!
Simply Wed
The band from the Wedding Singer! If you haven't seen this movie, you truly haven't lived...
The Great Frog Society
I searched for hours trying to find a video for this band. Essentially its a Saturday Night Live parody of Behind the Music, featuring a band composed of dead rock stars and historical figures. Jim Morrison, Buddy Holly, Amelia Earheart... If you find a video, lemme know :)
Kevin G and the Power of 3
Math Enthusiasts and Bad Ass MCs, just one more reason Mean Girls is awesome, and this clip ALWAYS makes me laugh...
If you think of any I missed post them in the comment section!
You Go Glen CoCo!
RamPaige
Fake Movies I Wish Were Real...
Yay! Our first real post on the new blog! I threw a temporary logo up there so the blog doesn't look horribly unfortunate anymore. For all of you Facebook followers, I'll be double posting for a little while, so you guys won't miss out. And without further ado, the list...
Throughout entertainment history there have been many instances of fictional films that are so beautifully crafted, you'll wish they were real. Be it a fake trailer or just the mere mention of a fake title, some fake films should, nay, DESERVE to be made. This list is dedicated to the films that could and should be...
Simple Jack
In Tropic Thunder, Simple Jack is Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller)'s ill fated attempt at Oscar greatness. The story follows a mentally impaired farm boy who can talk to animals, although this section of the film caused a major stir when Tropic Thunder was released, I would totally go see this film out of sheer morbid curiosity. With lines like...
"I'll see you tonight in my head movies, but this head movie will make my eyes rain..."
It's hard to imagine that this film wouldn't have been entertaining at the very least, and unfortunately hilarious at the very best.
Who Dat Ninja
If it's from 30 Rock, you know it's bound to be hilarious. There's no actual footage available from this fake film, in fact the only mention of it is the movie poster that hangs on the wall in Tracey Jordan's dressing room on the show. That poster alone is enough to make me laugh out loud at the mere thought of what this movie could possibly be about.
Machete
The first addition to this list from Grindhouse, Machete is considered to be the best fake trailer of the bunch. I actually had to watch this trailer in film class and critique it as if it was a real film. Warning, the trailer's pretty graphic, probably NSFW.
Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp
Really these films are just two of the many films that can be attributed to the man, the myth, the legend, that is Troy McClure. By far one of the best examples of one-liner perfection, Troy McClure was a favorite of Simpsons fans for many years you may recognize him from...
Untitled Fake Film on The Office
Jack Black, Jessica Alba, and Cloris Leachman star in this fake chick flick watched by the employees of Dunder Mifflin over their lunch hour. The film is never given a title, and despite the number of scenes shown in the episode, it's nearly impossible to determine a plot, but it's all worth it just to see Cloris Leachman "run away" from Jack Black using a stairway chair lift. Unfortunately all I could find was the promo, you can watch the full episode on Hulu, it's totally worth it.
Werewolf Women of the SS
Trantino and Rodriguez's Grindhous was rife with fictional goodies, and all 4 fake trailers are excellent in their own way. One of my favorites however, and also one of the most underrated is Werewolf Women of the SS. This fake film belongs on this list based on the premise alone. It has all the makings of a hilarious D movie, werewolves, Hitler, Nicholas Cage, you can't lose! A word of caution about the trailer, it's a little graphic, what else would you expect from Rob Zombie?
Satan's Alley
I had to end with this one, hands down one of my favorite fake trailers of all time. Robert Downey Jr. AND Tobey Maguire, I don't really see how it could get much better. I mean, after all, it did win the Bejing Film Festival's Coveted Crying Monkey Award and there's even a fake site for the film.
www.satansalley.com
I know I've probably missed some, so if you think of any more, post them in the comment section. Or better yet, if you can think of a fake title for a film you believe should be made, post that too!
May the Force Be With You!
RamPaige :)
Throughout entertainment history there have been many instances of fictional films that are so beautifully crafted, you'll wish they were real. Be it a fake trailer or just the mere mention of a fake title, some fake films should, nay, DESERVE to be made. This list is dedicated to the films that could and should be...
Simple Jack
In Tropic Thunder, Simple Jack is Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller)'s ill fated attempt at Oscar greatness. The story follows a mentally impaired farm boy who can talk to animals, although this section of the film caused a major stir when Tropic Thunder was released, I would totally go see this film out of sheer morbid curiosity. With lines like...
"I'll see you tonight in my head movies, but this head movie will make my eyes rain..."
It's hard to imagine that this film wouldn't have been entertaining at the very least, and unfortunately hilarious at the very best.
Who Dat Ninja
If it's from 30 Rock, you know it's bound to be hilarious. There's no actual footage available from this fake film, in fact the only mention of it is the movie poster that hangs on the wall in Tracey Jordan's dressing room on the show. That poster alone is enough to make me laugh out loud at the mere thought of what this movie could possibly be about.
Machete
The first addition to this list from Grindhouse, Machete is considered to be the best fake trailer of the bunch. I actually had to watch this trailer in film class and critique it as if it was a real film. Warning, the trailer's pretty graphic, probably NSFW.
Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp
Really these films are just two of the many films that can be attributed to the man, the myth, the legend, that is Troy McClure. By far one of the best examples of one-liner perfection, Troy McClure was a favorite of Simpsons fans for many years you may recognize him from...
Untitled Fake Film on The Office
Jack Black, Jessica Alba, and Cloris Leachman star in this fake chick flick watched by the employees of Dunder Mifflin over their lunch hour. The film is never given a title, and despite the number of scenes shown in the episode, it's nearly impossible to determine a plot, but it's all worth it just to see Cloris Leachman "run away" from Jack Black using a stairway chair lift. Unfortunately all I could find was the promo, you can watch the full episode on Hulu, it's totally worth it.
Werewolf Women of the SS
Trantino and Rodriguez's Grindhous was rife with fictional goodies, and all 4 fake trailers are excellent in their own way. One of my favorites however, and also one of the most underrated is Werewolf Women of the SS. This fake film belongs on this list based on the premise alone. It has all the makings of a hilarious D movie, werewolves, Hitler, Nicholas Cage, you can't lose! A word of caution about the trailer, it's a little graphic, what else would you expect from Rob Zombie?
Satan's Alley
I had to end with this one, hands down one of my favorite fake trailers of all time. Robert Downey Jr. AND Tobey Maguire, I don't really see how it could get much better. I mean, after all, it did win the Bejing Film Festival's Coveted Crying Monkey Award and there's even a fake site for the film.
www.satansalley.com
I know I've probably missed some, so if you think of any more, post them in the comment section. Or better yet, if you can think of a fake title for a film you believe should be made, post that too!
May the Force Be With You!
RamPaige :)
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